PEDIATRICS Vol. 95 No. 3 March 1995, pp. 404
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What is a Grandmother? (Written by a 9-year-old)

G. R. Riess Jr. MD

"A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own, so she likes other people's little boys and girls. A grandfather is a man grandmother.

Grandmas don't have to do anything except be there. They're old, so they shouldn't play hard or run. It is enough if they drive us to the market where the pretend horse is and have lots of dimes ready. Usually grandmas are fat, but not too fat to tie kids' shoes. They wear glasses and they can take their teeth out and gums off! They don't have to be smart ... only answer questions like why dogs chase cats and how come God isn't married? They don't talk Baby Talk like visitors do because it is hard to understand and when they read to us they don't skip words or mind if it is the same story over and over again.

Everyone should try to have a Grandma especially if they don't have a television, because grandmothers are the only grownups who really ever seem to have any time for children!"